Time to Breathe?

A new year. A clean slate.

2018 came in much as 2017 had progressed.  I reconnected with long-lost relatives, absorbed the blows of life as institutions imploded, and as dear friends faced their own trials.  Thinking I was withstanding  the roiling emotions which life brings these days, another event "popped in."

My knee popped out.  OUCH!   And, I was, in a word,

Immobile.

Leveled by the physical pain, I quickly discounted that there were lessons to be learned here, and plunged into the tyranny of the urgent.

Delegating became my second name.  The list of what has to be done, what isn't being done, and dear God in heaven what can be done? was answered immediately by a knee that said, I AM DONE!

Those dear ones around me quickly found their own mantra, "Uh, that does not HAVE TO BE DONE!

Gradually, as the voice of reason nudged into my panic, I began to understand how hell-bent I am to HAVE my own way, DO it my own way, and THINK in my own way.

Once again, my friend Jesus in that still small voice quieted me with a beckoning,"Come let me show you new discoveries!  About me, about yourself!"

Captured by His gentle luring, I began to take stock of those lessons.

In the midst of my busyness,  I had lost my ability to see the gift of receiving from those who love me. Gradually, I relaxed in the love of their help.  Had I hardened myself so much? Or had Jesus' words, "Giving is better than receiving" turned into a stumbling block for me? Did I forget that to give to others, I had to receive the gifts Jesus had for me?

I began to breathe.  Ridiculous as it sounds, I learned to sit and be. And breathe.  Again, a peace -- the peace that passes all understanding begin to bathe me in a sweetness that had been clouded with my pain. As I relaxed, peace prevailed and a new attention to detail of my surroundings and those I love began to overtake my pain. A miracle relearned.

I have written much in this blog about my struggles to dispel my prejudices as I work in my neighborhood which is changing rapidly, sometimes with challenges not to my liking. And ONCE AGAIN, I learned a deeper lesson as I obeyed my doctor's advice to swim more. Not knowing that this would be another lesson to dispel prejudices, I limped off to my neighborhood gym. Entering into the pool area, expecting to swim quickly and exit, I instead found a crowded pool and spa. Me, a Russian body-builder, a young Hispanic boxer,  a Middle-Eastern young adult, two Hispanic teen-agers, and a Chinese doctor were in the spa, in the pool, and in the sauna -- not always in that order.

Quickly, I discerned that I had no choice but to go with the so-called program and swim, in spite of the crowded spa and pool. Fill in the blanks dear reader -- in the midst of it all, I found out much about my companions that afternoon, there was laughter, sharing, and yes, I did swim, and yes it helped my prejudices, and my knee.   Hebrews  12: 12-13 hits me, literally. "Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed."

As you can note dear reader, I am healing.  I walk short distances now, but I am nudged more into swimming, I drink lots of water (as I have been resistant to do for years -- too much running to -- well you know).  I listen to the Lord, and to my body.  Stop, sit, enjoy, rest, write, love those around you, and watch what I AM DOING!

Writing is flowing in greater measure.  I have time to sit more and peruse old journals.  I am aware that the path of my life has been laid meticulously out for me by my Lord, and that I know my path.  A miracle above all miracles, and I am blessed.   Helping others pen their stories, and finding my own.

Nuggets.

As you are dear readers.  Thanks for walking with me on my journey.  Stay tuned.  Next month I am posting an interview I did with Madeleine L'Engle 20 years ago.  Her book, "A Wrinkle in Time" is coming out as a Disney movie March 9th. 

Another nugget.  See you.